Cleaning out a career

I realized something today.

My volleyball career is over. And, yes, I understood this on Saturday night when my team lost in the Conference Championship, but it really hit me today. Why, you may ask?

I cleaned out my locker.

Trivial, but in actuality, that locker room has been the hub for my Central career. Four years worth of funny locker room stories, celebrations, condolences, team talks, singing in the showers, rocking out to everything from Celine Dion to Justin Bieber. It's where I got ready to play.

It's not like my entire volleyball career happened at Central. I have been playing since the 7th grade. Year-round, in fact. But the most significant part of my career happened there. The most memorable and exciting parts were at Central. The most disappointing and heartbreaking were there, too. The hundreds of practices and countless tournaments I participated in have been mounting towards this anti-climactic moment.  

As I was going through my things, I realized I wouldn't need a lot of it again. My volleyball shoes which I had bought just for this year because I beat the crap out of my shoes last year. My knee pads which are at least four years old, reek beyond belief, and are stained yellow because of sweat. My ankle braces which are no longer white, but stained brown and yellow. These things hold so much value for me, and I never realized it before. Why would these things mean so much to me? 

I piled all of these things as well as extra spandex, socks, underwear, shampoo, etc. into a flimsy, plastic Walmart bag. I gave back my lock and practice shirt. And I walked out the door. It felt terrible to know that I would never have to go back in. And as I went outside, I put up my umbrella (because it is ridiculously rainy) and carried my heaps of things. Two steps out the door, the plastic bag broke and my things tumbled out, spilling all over the wet concrete. I hurriedly put down the umbrella and stuffed my shoes and knee pads back into the bag. But, I no longer had hands for the umbrella. So, I walked back to my room in the cold rain with my volleyball past in my arms. 

The irony was not lost on me. 

I dumped my stuff in my room, and I immediately began to write this post. I'm looking at my wet jeans from where I held all of my wet things close to my body, and my hair is curling around my face. And I wonder why this means so much to me. Stuff is just stuff. But it is what they represent. Before every game and practice I put those shoes and knee pads on. I ran in those shoes and dived in those knee pads. They represent my work and my career as a volleyball player. Those memories I have are not dependent on those things. Sure, I may be reminded of my times playing, but I will always have those memories. With or without my shoes.

Today, I pulled my name tag off of the top of my locker. I've done it before, but every year I knew I would see it again. I looked at my last name on the paper, and I thought about saving it for a moment, just to remind me of the amazing times I had. Instead, I walked towards the garbage can, crumpled up the paper, and threw it in. It was just a piece of paper.

Cheers to the freakin' weekend!

I'm over half way done with my first semester of senior year, and let me tell you, I'm super excited to see Christmas Break!

Don't get me wrong, this semester has been flying by. Volleyball is getting closer to being done (if we do well, we could still have a few weeks to go. If we don't, we could be done as early as Nov. 1). Senior night is over, so I have no more games on Central's floor. Ever. My 22nd birthday is in four short days! I have over 100 pages of reading to do for tomorrow. I need to go shoot some pictures for my photography class before tomorrow. Oh, I got a puppy! I don't have one of my classes for a week. It's cold and windy most days which means winter is on it's way. But today is a lovely 70 degrees. I just finished my last volleyball tournament ever (we went 4-0). I broke two school records for career digs as well as season digs. My knees are extremely swollen and bruised because of it. The wonderful fall day is calling me and my book. I love weekends. And I'm lovin' life. :-)

Me and Belle! Isn't she cute?!?

So, I know that was a lot to take in, but I don't have a ton of time because of said homework. I'm looking forward to this week, so I hope it's a good one! Have a wonderful week!

Glass half empty, or is it full?

It's been one of those weeks.

One of weeks that you hate and wish you could just sleep it off and make it go away. The stress of school and homework and the school paper and volleyball are adding up. I can't wait until I'm not tired anymore. Cue the end of the semester. Sadly, I'm a procrastinator.

Happily, the week is over! It's a brand new week which will probably be just as full of stress and tiredness, but it has to be better than last week. Things are looking up...for now.

Goals for the week:
Don't procrastinate my paper for Friday.
Beat BV on Tuesday night.
Get my reading in Wuthering Heights done.
Figure out how to develop pictures in photography class, and then develop them.
Don't procrastinate.

I will let you know how the list goes.

Blah!

Quick update:

I. hate. school.

That's all.

Senior year

Well, I know I haven't posted in quite a while. I never finished my last challenge either, but at the present moment, I really don't care. I'm starting my senior year of college! I'm not sure how I feel about it, yet. I want to be done with school, that much I am sure about. But, at the same time, I wish I didn't have to leave.

My classes this year should't be difficult: I have volleyball class (yes, I took volleyball class), photography, 19th century literature, and literary criticism. To be honest, literary criticism will be a pain in the ass, but the rest will be a least a little fun. The tough part will come in editing the school newspaper and being a tutor on top of volleyball.

The past two weeks has been taken up by volleyball preseason. We have had 15 practices in a week, and my body is exhausted. Although I'm 21, my body feels much older. I found out that I have some pretty nasty tendinitis in both of my knees and just a few days ago my quad started hurting badly. I sat out of practices today, so I hope I get to play tomorrow. *fingers crossed*

Basically, this is my last year of competitive volleyball, and it is probably a good thing because I'm not sure my body could handle it anymore. I think what makes me most sad is that I can't share my last season with the rest of my family. Most of my family members have never seen me play, and I wish I could share my love for the game with them. But, they all live really far away. I'm very thankful that the family and friends I have close by get to watch, but on senior night, I won't have the huge cheering section in the stands, and deep down I wish I did. I know that most of my family and a lot friends can't be there, so I can't hold it against them, but it's still upsetting.

Okay, enough of the sad stuff. School has been in session for three days, it's nice outside, and life is going decently well. I need to get to bed to get up early, but there was a little update on my boring life and some of the things I have been thinking about. Until next time...

Days 24-25 of 30 day book challenge

Day 24: Your favorite series (I don't know why the post is creating too much space between paragraphs...it's annoying).


Easy. Harry Potter. Hands down. 


I don't really think I need to explain this one much more, you just have to read the rest of the book challenge blog posts to know I'm in love with the series. 


Day 25: The nerdiest book you’ve ever read.


Uh...?


Oh! I got it! The Origins of the Specious. Not species. The book is by Patricia O'Conner, and I thought it was pretty fascinating. It's all about the English language and how we use certain words and not others. She shoves the "rules" right out the door!

"She reveals why some of grammar’s best-known “rules” aren’t–and never were–rules at all. She explains how Brits and Yanks wound up speaking the same language so differently, and why British English isn’t necessarily purer."

Days 14-23 of 30 day book challenge

I know. I'm terrible. I haven't updated in over a week! But, here are all of the days I missed in very short chunks. Very short.

Day 14: A book you regret not having read sooner.

Jane Austen novels. Love 'em.

Day 15: A book you haven’t read, but is on your “will read” list.

Oh, this is a looooooooong list. I want to read the Hunger Games Series, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series, and The Help. There are a lot more on that list...I just don't have the time.

Day 16: A book you haven’t read and have no intention of ever reading.

Lord of the Rings. Ew. Too boring.

Day 17: A book you want to like, but can’t get into for whatever reason. Why can’t you get into it?

Reading Lolita in Tehran. It's been sitting on my book shelf for a ages, and I've tried reading it many times. I don't know why I can't seem to read it. I will get there eventually.

Day 18: A book you think is highly overrated.

"Classics." Not all, but most.

Day 19: A book you think is woefully underrated.

I don't really know. I don't really think this is underrated...it's just not as well know. Well, it might be an Oprah Book Club member. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. I don't know how famous it is, but I looked over at my book shelf and it was the first one to come to mind.

Day 20: The environment you most enjoy reading in.

Anywhere that is cuddly. When it's raining. I would love to have a little reading nook by a window someday. With lots of pillows.

Day 21: The most disturbing book you’ve ever read.

The Jungle. Hands down. It's gross. And unnecessarily long.

Day 22: A book you once loved, but don’t anymore. What changed?

Um...none of them changed? I don't think there is a book I liked that I don't enjoy anymore.

Day 23: A book you once hated, but now like. What changed?

Believe it or not, I would not read Ella Enchanted when my mom brought it home the first time. I didn't think it sounded interesting, but then I gave it a chance. I'm so glad I did! :-)