"So, what are you going to do after you graduate?" or "What are you going to do with your life?"
I smile on the outside, but I cringe on the inside. It's something that I know I must think about, but I don't want to. I feel like sticking my fingers in my ears, running around in circles, all the while blabbering: "I can't hear you!"
Too much? Maybe, but there's always going to be a little part of me that doesn't want to grow up. But, at the same time, I don't want to stay in school forever. Homework for eternity? No thank you! I have the perfect solution: stay in college forever, hang out with friends, go to fun classes that have no homework, have a cafeteria that cooks all my meals, play volleyball, throw in some study abroad, and then repeat. Okay, not realistic, but sounds like a ton of fun.
So what's a girl to do when faced with the dreaded question? (Yes, it's so serious it needs to be italicized.)
Well, I answer like this, "I want to go into publishing. Hopefully."
And yes, I always add the "hopefully." The chances of me becoming a book editor are slim to none. I realize that one. The publishing biz is a tough one to crack into, even tougher when I'm really not that fantastic at it. I love reading. I love editing. But I never really thought about the fact that it might not be enough to just love to do something. You kinda have to be good at it. Imagine that.
My problem is this: I like too many things. How was I supposed to narrow it down? If I could have, I would have been an education/history/Spanish/English major with an emphasis in writing/procrastination/marketing/graphic design/photography/volleyball. Impossible, yet, I almost wish it wasn't. Even if it was possible, there is no way in hell I could manage it. Let's be serious, my emphasis in procrastination would kick in.
But let me tell you something I have learned as a not-so-wise guru, ungraduated college senior, and a generalized know-it-all: real life kinda sucks. Eloquent, no?
Unfortunate there really is no other option. Here is a list of things I want to do after graduating, followed by the reason why I can't do it.
- Travel around the world...and yet I have no money. When someone invents a way to grow money on trees, I am planting a huge one!
- Invent money growing trees...I'm not at all sciency. But totally possible. Someone...get on that.
- Play Olympic volleyball...oh wait, my volleyball skills aren't up to par.
- Be a photographer for National Geographic...travel and photography rolled into one! But, my picture taking skills aren't the greatest.
- Write a book...As much as I love to write, my own ideas just aren't good. That's why I like to edit. I can tell other people their ideas are terrible. (Okay, joke. But, seriously.)
- Become the world's ultimate translator for sarcasm...totally doable. I'm already half way there.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being an adult. I'm making money (well, the little money I get paid on minimum wage), I get to make my own decisions (as long as the government doesn't take that away), and I get to start my own life (as long as mommy and daddy say that's okay).
But to be completely honest, I would be very happy with graduating, finding a job, getting married, and having the 2.5 kids everyone is supposed to have. But, there will probably be a part of me that thinks, why didn't I do this when I was younger? This is another reason I'm very glad I studied abroad--I got my chance to experience another life. Although, it just whet my appetite for traveling.
This is all probably a little too serious for someone that isn't even 22 yet, but it's something to think about. I don't have many regrets in my life, and I would like to keep it that way. I have my entire life ahead of me, but it feels like the whole world is pushing back saying, "[Fill in the appropriate action] now!"
Everything has to be done this moment. But why? I want to enjoy my life, relax a little. And this may all sound very privileged, and maybe it is. I am used to living a good life. My parents were nice enough to provide everything for me. Because of that, I was able to go to a good school, study abroad, and do what I want with my life. And for that I'm very thankful.
Here is something else that I have learned: real life can be really fantastic. My friends and family are amazing. I love them all very much. I am so blessed to be surrounded by people that love me. I think it can be summed up by a very insightful Beatles song:
All you need is love, all you need is love,When I look around, I see a really amazing life. I can be what I want to be, when I want to be it. Back off, world. Here's my advice (just because I'm giving it, doesn't mean you should take it): do what you want because you love it, when you want to.
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
So the next time someone asks me the question, I'll smile, and answer, "I want to go into publishing. Hopefully."